Stepfamilies are all around us, but many people don’t know if you are part of one. We don’t want to be different than nuclear families. But we are- in some very significant ways. And being a stepmom is a hard, complicated gig. Harder than being a bio mom. Other people make automatic assumptions about how to be a stepmom. Love them like your own, but remember they aren’t yours. And, thanks to a skewed public perception, the biggest assumption is that all stepmothers are evil. Like in the fairytales and movies. Instant judgements are made. You ask other step-mothers and they will tell a different tale: of self sacrificing, bending over backwards to please everybody and keep the peace, feeling lost and sometimes alone, and being shoved to the sidelines.
There are politics in step parenting and stepfamilies: there aren’t just egg shells to walk on but honest, emotional and mental land mines to navigate. Stats tell us that stepfamilies don’t often survive. And it’s common for step-moms to feel discounted, disregarded , disrespected, and alone. Stepfamily relationships are HARD and it takes work. But it’s work well worth the effort and investment. When you take care of yourself, then your intimate relationship will flourish and that can spill over to the rest of your family. I am a certified stepfamily coach and I can give you support, insight and awareness. Allow me to shine the light in the dark corners.
You are not alone in your struggles, heartache, headache… and triumphs. It’s time to find a healthy balance, to find peace, to find hope and to find grace. Be proud of who you are!
Let me help you navigate life as a stepmom. Step by Step Mom, shoulder to shoulder.